Category: domestic bliss
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Tom adjusts to the new location of 'his spot'. Ruby stands guard. Before After Tom's new place is great, big and light and roomy. All the family pitched in to send him furnishings–from Grandpa's prints to Mom's rug to John and Molly's redo of the chairs to Aunt Peg's couch, table and bed. He worked…
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Mom was right, this area needed a dining table and chairs, and the curtains make all the difference. Warm and cozy, with a city view.
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-I farted once (once!) during Mom's visit, she of the Frequent Gaseous Outburst, and she outed me in public. "Did you just fart?!" (loud, pointed tone of voice on public transport). -I reluctantly now have The Cable. It took me three days to figure out how to turn it on after Mom left, but now,…
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I dropped Mom off at the airport at 6am this morning, drove home through quiet dark streets…and happily went to work righting all the small wrongs in the house. Let's just say Mom and I have different domestic styles. In short order, the kitchen counter was clear of clutter, the magazines were in tidy piles,…
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"Who ever gets f###ed first, wins."
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Mom: I picked up your dog's doodle today. Me: "Doodle?" Mom: Yes, her, you know…doodle. A woman who rates her farts at night from the other room ("That was a TEN! Did you hear that one Kate?") has to use a euphamism for the dog's business?
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Today's last minute grocery list: -Ant traps -Booze -Flowers -Spray Bottle -Vinegar -Fire Starters That's exactly the list Mom gave me. Sounds like a Holiday with the Adams Family.
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Mom: I just want you to know I picked up your dog's poop today. (grossed-out face, tongue sticking out). Me: You walked her? That's great, thanks. Wait, haven't you always picked up after her? Mom: No, I never told you that. I always left it, acted like I didn't see her doing it. It was…
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Mom has arrived! In less than 24 hours she managed to: -comment on the size of my breasts, the shape of my eyebrows and the 'cuteness' level of my butt. -find the only dusty spot in the house. Who wipes down the top of the refrigerator? -use more toilet paper than is allotted the average…
girl at large 