Category: it’s all relative
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I flew down to Los Angeles today for a visit with Tom and Mom (who came down to spend Christmas week with her boy)—-it's warm and sunny and we're all free from work….so where did we go? The Grove. For those who haven't been, my only advice is to treat it as if you were…
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"Who ever gets f###ed first, wins."
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Mom: I picked up your dog's doodle today. Me: "Doodle?" Mom: Yes, her, you know…doodle. A woman who rates her farts at night from the other room ("That was a TEN! Did you hear that one Kate?") has to use a euphamism for the dog's business?
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Stella, Peg and Mom Thanksgiving 2007, Portland
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Today's last minute grocery list: -Ant traps -Booze -Flowers -Spray Bottle -Vinegar -Fire Starters That's exactly the list Mom gave me. Sounds like a Holiday with the Adams Family.
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Mom: I just want you to know I picked up your dog's poop today. (grossed-out face, tongue sticking out). Me: You walked her? That's great, thanks. Wait, haven't you always picked up after her? Mom: No, I never told you that. I always left it, acted like I didn't see her doing it. It was…
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Mom has arrived! In less than 24 hours she managed to: -comment on the size of my breasts, the shape of my eyebrows and the 'cuteness' level of my butt. -find the only dusty spot in the house. Who wipes down the top of the refrigerator? -use more toilet paper than is allotted the average…
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Before/After The house is nearly complete, the spiffing up as far as it's going to get before the family arrives. The spare room got the biggest make over… Still didn't manage to make that much room in the closets, and the storage space is overflowing…nothing worse than having the extra room to store stuff I…
girl at large 