girl at large

I like to write about life when you have a job, some kids, a fixer upper and a fatal disease.

recent posts

about

Category: it’s all relative

  • The Likes We Need

                      While preparing my paintings for the Shorewood Artists Guild show, I pulled everything out in front of me, all my curly papers gathered together for the first time. Little paintings, bigger paintings, big pieces that failed, sweet little unfinished pieces I had been disappointed with that…

  • Trust Me, This Was Hilarious

                Me: “Therapy was tough this week. She suggested I’m holding on to this grudge because it’s easier and less painful than facing my mortality.” Mom (aged 79): “Well, I’m having to come to terms with it too.” Me: “What is that like for you?” Mom: “Losing you is going…

  • Mothers and Community

                                Someone once said that my Mom and I are so alike we “are like one person”. That was odd, and kinda creepy. We are our own people, but I think, given some grace, what they meant was that we are in…

  • Hospital Saga, Part 4. Gratitude Edition

    It was a rough week, made rougher by interrupting a holiday. Though, honestly I didn’t mind the timing that much because my customers were also unavailable. That was one less thing I had to worry about. An empty inbox is very healing. Also very healing are all the wonderful, thoughtful, courageous people in our lives. Thank…

  • Hospital Saga, Part 2

    Within minutes at Urgent Care, we realized it wasn’t urgenty enough, so we zipped down the road to the Emergency Room. The secret to fast service? Chest pains and a Smurf-like complexion. My oxygen level was 76, my chest had a tire on it, the portable chest X-ray showed my lungs were full of fluid.…

  • Life and Photosynthesis

    Mom: “I finally figured it out! I finally realized why you got so into plants!” Me, and all my house plants around me in the corners, listening. Mom, enthusiastically: ”You were desperate to keep SOMETHING alive!” .. . Me: “You mean I was interested in being surrounded by living things?” Mom: “Oh, yes, that does…

  • Wanna Try That Again?

    I’m helping Mom complete an online health questionnaire, an important one for an upcoming appointment. It’s long, it covers a lot, and it’s challenging to do even without vision loss. I’m reading from the screen… Me: “Ok, Mom here are the social support questions. Answer either True, Mostly True, Somewhat True, False, Mostly False, or…

  • The View From Here

    Fairhope, Alabama  It’s been a strange holiday season. The new variant has scrambled plans; we didn’t feel comfortable doing inside family gatherings while my body is still processing chemo for another three rounds. But after two years of practice with masks and the kids finally fully vaccinated, we can navigate a road trip and outdoor…

  • The Twelve Days of…

    On the first day of chemo my doctor gave to me a puncture and an IV. On the second day of chemo my doctor gave to me two mouth sores, a puncture and an IV. On the third day of chemo my doctor gave to me three barf bags, two mouth sores, a puncture and…

  • When You’re Feeling Low, You Always Can Count on Pat

    I was showing Mom today how my range of motion has been affected by radiation. Lifted my left arm well over my head, stretched it to touch my right ear, all good. Lifted my crooked right arm and it barely went above my shoulder… Mom: “You have to do something about that!” Yes, thanks mom.…