girl at large

I like to write about life when you have a job, some kids, a fixer upper and a fatal disease.

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  • Dreaming of Spring

    The new dinette benches for the trailer are almost done! I can't believe what an amazing job Dad did recreating them from the crumbled, rotting mess that we had to work from as a template.

    Now I need to order the table top to go with them, just have to work out the support mechanism (it will convert from table and benches to bed). Can't wait to have morning coffee in the trailer. Viv will have a cozy place to sleep, and all the mechanicals previously (and dangerously) exposed will be nicely concealed.

    Now, if only Spring will come…

     

  • Regret

     
     

    I didn’t know he was in Milwaukee. Every year or so for the last ten years, I have googled him but nothing ever came up except the similiarly named professional football player. We had left on tough terms, and I was glad to have the distance both physically and emotionally, but I always wished him well. And I always thought that after some time, and some getting well, we’d be back in touch. We would cross paths, he would pick up the phone, I would reply to the last email. But time went on, and life went on and I was busy and he was not to be found. The last we saw each other was in France, the last communication I was in Portland and he was in Madison. His lack of online presence was not surprising, but it was always a disappointment to find nothing.

    Yesterday, in a moment of bored googling, (we’ve all done it), I put his name in once again. To my shock, it was there. He died two weeks ago. In Milwaukee.

    I’m sorry Ryan. I’m sorry I didn’t reach out; that I didn’t try harder to find you. You were a good friend to me many times when I really needed one. I hope you knew that when I pushed you out it was for your benefit. It was because I loved you and I knew that wasn’t enough. I knew I couldn’t help you enough and that I was a crutch that harmed you more than helped.

    I had always held out hope that the day would come when you were well, and I was independent and we could laugh together again (sarcastically and with lovely obscure cinematic references).

    If I had known we had both moved to Milwaukee, I would like to believe I would have called you, that I would have met your wife and bought your art and celebrated your happy life with you. I would have liked to freaked you out with a dirty diaper or two. I would have liked to have seen you well.

    I didn’t know you were here all the time. I didn’t know.

     

  • My Life In Poop Management

    Ever wonder what would happen if you ate those absorbing crystals they put in diapers?

    Well, Ruby and I know now!

     

  • Asking For It

    Just when I make headway, I add to my own burden. The plaster work is done, the garage doors are on order…I'm feeling and seeing positive progress on the huge project that is Kenmore Place. But that feeling may not last for long. I had delivery yesterday of all the items I've been stashing in the racks at work—bookcases, storage cabinets and most importantly the kitchen cabinets.

    So, now I have to tackle unpacking 30 boxes of books in the basement, organizing piles of scattered tools and supplies, and somehow getting the energy and funds together to start the new kitchen. If only it was as easy as installing the cabinets now hogging what was Viv's play room. We have to run electrical to counter height, add 220 for the stove, reroute the gas line, remove and cap off a radiator, demo a closet, frame in and drywall two doorways, run all new plumbing for hot, cold and a drain, and knock down a wall! Oh, and we need a stove hood and vent, dishwasher, light fixtures, countertops, a sink and faucet….meanwhile, the perfect pedestal sink for the upstairs bathroom has been located on craigslist and must be fetched this weekend…

    And to think I do this to myself. I am nuts.

     

  • If You’re 40 and You Know It

    The things that excite me these days are so mundane. I can't remember the last time I went dancing or blew half my paycheck on new shoes. These days I dream (literally dream) of plaster repairs, stair treads and garage doors.

    This week, two of my dreams come true!

    The crumbling plaster, the result of my over eager demolition of hideous wall tile and brick veneer, is being expertly repaired. The vent soffit has been removed in the old kitchen and the walls re-plastered. Two more days and it will all be done (and clean and safe!). This afternoon I ordered the 2 new garage doors. The 90 year old barn doors, battered and broken, are very difficult to deal with in the cold and snow. In this case, "original" isn't desirable.

    Next, the bathrooms. It will be a banner day in Kenmore Place when I can both brush my teeth and shower in the same bathroom!

     

  • Grandpa’s Workshop

    Dad finished restoring the old wood riding train in just a week. Grandpa Rocky’s restored pedal car, Grandpa Bob’s train…I think we have a little competition going! Wish I could get as much interest in restoring our plaster….

     

  • Easy Peasy

    The Rossettos are an easy group to please. I have never known people so happy to recieve socks as gifts. They enjoy them so much that I wasn’t the only one giving them–Lisa gave everyone cashmere socks!

    I wasn’t there for the Turtleneck or Underwear years, but I can imagine they were just as fun. The dress Gina made for Viv is gorgeous, and though it is a bit big on little CiCi, she looked like a doll. It reminded me of the dresses mom made for us, and of the classic velvet ones from Saks in the 80’s.

    Mom is the easiest and most welcome house guest—no complaints about only one working shower, plaster falling off the bathroom walls or trying to cook a holiday meal in our crumbling, disjointed mess of a kitchen. And she sure can carve up a roasted chicken!

    Viv is both the most pleasant of all and the most difficult. The box of puppies was a huge hit, but she was so keyed up from all the socializing (and chocolate) that most of last night was spent wrestling her to sleep.

    Monday was Moms surprise belated birthday night out, Tuesday was Christmas Eve at Kenmore, after we dropped off mom at the airport yesterday it was all day with the Rossettos (from church to chocolate it’s a whole day affair), Saturday is the Rossetto Boat House party, Sunday is Dads day here….

    …today it is just me, Paul and Viv and our new cozy robes. Today, we are taking it easy…

     

  • Christmas Actually

    Brunch at Hubbard Park Lodge, tree on top of the station wagon, lights up, chowder in the crock pot, hot chocolate…all we need now is Love Actually. Sit down and shush hubby, it’s going to happen and you’re going to sit here and watch it with me. You got the Packer Game, I get this!

     

  • The Game Us On!

    I’ve been giving Paulie a hard time about last years Laminated Wall Map Christmas present, and of course ramped up the teasing in the last few weeks as the holiday approaches again.

    This morning I see 7 more packages set out for me! That’s a total of nine now. Wrapped! In two kinds of paper! Yes, and an envelope that says “To my beautiful wife”!

    I am screwed.


    The Game Us On!

  • One Brick at a Time

    Or, an entire wall of them. It was very satisfying to rip out the brick-veneer wall in the kitchen today. It was not just fake brick, it was mauve-painted fake brick. Again, the biggest part of renovation is removal. I hope I didn’t tackle this prematurely; I don’t know how long it will be before we can have a professional in to repair the plaster.