Five Weeks

Charlie is five weeks old tomorrow. I have aged five years. Some highlights:

-"Am I wearing pants? Not 'should I wear pants', but can you tell me at this moment do I have my pants on?"

-"They are so cute so that you won't kill them" (thanks Grandma)

-"The sheets were always so scratchy" (birth story from another era)

-"Your boob looks like a weapon"

-"Uh oh mama, he fell off your boob!"

-The third sling is the charm. Or the fourth…

-"What are you going to do for three whole months?" (Apparently maternity leave is a vacation)

-We have enough baby blankets. What we need is a Walgreens platinum card. That's a thing, right?

-"It goes up his butt til the stopper then you listen for the whistle"