A few ideas for replying to the too-often asked "Are you married"? I had a husband, but I killed him, that's why I'm here at the paint store buying a plastic tarp. Have a nice day! No, I prefer to sleep with other people's husbands. Is yours busy today? Not anymore, I sold him on…

I have anxiety about having to make small talk with the technician when having a manicure. Here I am, spoiled beyond reason with the extra dough and time for such a luxury as a bi-monthly manicure. I have no family to keep me home tethered to the washer and dryer, so I work 6 days…

I've tried speed dating, Match.com, set-ups, social clubs.. you name it. And nowhere can I find a date that isn't deeply, deeply wrong. Is searching the Craig's List Missed Connections in pathetic hope that you might have been noticed by some stranger, is that as sad as it feels? Even sadder when I realized the…

I know, I know…I haven't blogged regularly in ages…aside from being overwhelmed with work, lately I've had Technical Difficulties. Each attempt at posting brought the same malfunction message: "FORBIDDEN". I don't know what irritated me more: being Forbidden from my own damn diary, or feeling like a complete moron for not being able to fix…

I recently informed that I've been inexcusably remis in my blogging….more than 25 days without entry…well, let me share the explaination: Me a few weeks ago: shuffling, old lady style, pacing back and forth because sitting is intolerably painful. Bent forward in an awkward position, grimacing. The grimace is for the August 1994 copy of…

Someone I have to see nearly everyday: "You look nice today, Kate…". Compliment, good. Wait for it, here comes the insult-disguised-as-expanded-compliment: "…you have your own special little style, don't you? And somehow you make it work". Nice, well done. Excellent stealth-attack, admirable use of the non-compliment, I never saw it coming.

I have difficulity with gardening. Overcoming my fear of houseplants wasn't easy, but I've done it (as long as they are smaller than the dog). But I still can't get the hanging fuschias to last longer than a month. Currently, I have two hanging Dead Things. I do however, have a way with growing other…

In the car, three blocks later…..realized that "Oh, not much, just spring cleaning" was NOT the answer cute fellow that I ran into again in grocery store was after when he asked what I was doing this evening. In the laundry room, two seconds after putting cap back on bleach bottle, realized that this load…

We all have them–the dried-out Sharpie, the unrefillable mechanical pencil, the leaking pen. Why do we hang on to them? Why do we refuse to throw them away when they so obviously no longer do their jobs, and continue to irritate us? Why have I just reached for the same offending, leaking pen (with the…