GUYS!!!! some practical hints for posting a personal ad online:
do not use a picture of yourself:
-getting your hair cut
-hugging an ex-girlfriend
-in super-short basketball pants
-about to sneeze
-wearing a beret
-wearing a “World’s Greatest Mom” sweatshirt
-doing the Chicken Dance
-from highschool (particularly if you are currently 35)
-shirtless while holding a bunny rabbit
do not begin your essay with:
-“I like to fight. I do something called Ultimate Fighting…”
don’t use screen names like:
toobiginmypants
screeminmonkey
gigalo785
funkymule
psykoknife
any wonder why these things don't work?
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with mom (and her dinners) gone, i’ve resorted to my previous single girl eating habits…must remember that five baby gherkins, a bit of cheddar, a half packet of stale crackers (with a dab of Nutella) and a sliced lemon do not make for a well-balanced meal. i’m not even going to get into the pancake issue.
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ok folks, today's earlier bonhumeur has evaporated in the face of yet another sad, empty mailbox (aside from the previously mentioned New Yorkers earlier in the week). it's even been two months since my Grandmother Eileen has written me about the status of the weather and contents of the obits in Edgar, Nebraska!
email is fine and dandy, but to follow are just a few of the reasons that i (and sometimes i feel that is i alone!) regularly practice the ancient art of handwriting letters and postcards.
handwritten letters/postcards:
>can be sniffed. crunchy types: never underestimate the ability of patchuli oil/incense to travel internationally.
>can be carried in mon sac a main for a few days in anticipation of random joyful re-reading at a cafe, on the plage, in the train, etc.
>can be tacked to a wall or frigo without having to put another 50 euro ink cartridge in the printer.
>(old envelopes) make handy bookmarks and post-it-note replacements
>can be held for ransom if containing scandalous confessions written whilst drunk.
>can be riffled through in old shoe boxes a decade later, on a significant birthday or after a nasty break up to reassure oneself that yes, indeed, someone loved them once enough to write it down.
>have nifty stamps and postmarks on the envelopes that can still, amidst all this technology, amuse a youngster. (even if only long enough to tear them up)
>rarely contain viruses.
so, i am issuing a CHALLENGE. the first three people to WRITE a letter/postcard to me will receive a one year magazine subscription of my choice and a Christmas card from me, every year, for life.
17 rue Docteur Rostan apt. 2
Antibes, France 06600 -
received two concurrent issues of The New Yorker magazine (thank you Grandma Mickey for the international subscription) this week..oh, yum! such a joy to savor each play review (never mind i won't be doing theatre nights in NYC any time soon), article, book review, bit o' fiction and cartoon. oh, and commentaries on life as an American abroad, like this one from Paris to the Moon author Adam Gopnik.
laugh out loud and spook-the-dog moment: reading a story about a "Marriage Promotion" program (as a solution to poverty, i won't even get into that)…an interviewee named her most recent newborn De Las'One. ha! love that!
reminds me of my favorite Kroger check-out girl in Savannah: LaTrine. -
ha! i've been saying this for years! (i would also add that the difference in car-usuage for everyday errands has something to do with it…the French are regularly on foot far more than Americans)
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a few days ago in the late-afternoon, the sky darkened behind the town towards the mountains and it looked like rain…it even thundered and was that ever delicious..but, alas..it didn't make it down to us on the coast…i cried. literally.
the endless heatwave and glaring sun were driving me batty. then, on Saturday, as we were peddling back down the river in the Gorge (thoroughly enjoying a dip in temperature and another in chilly river water) it happened again…lightening in the distance, thunder, rolling banks of gray clouds…and again, nothing! nature was just messin' with me.
but this morning, glory of glories…cloudy skies! and drizzle! i'm going back out to the balcony to sit in it. -
just got word from Mom that she has successfully completed her week's women-only sailing course in Maine and is back in familiar lands (Chicago) today..she loved the course! "I've never laughed so hard in my life" she says, sounds like she really hit it off with the captain and crew…there were no other students booked for that week, but they didn't cancel the trip because Mom was coming all the way from France! more details to come…
as for me, i spent the day on a foot-paddle (pedalo) boat with three other gals and two wet dogs in Gorge du Verdun…beautifully cool fresh water. Miss Liz, in a moment of sheer brilliance, repaired an annoyingly squeaky peddle axel with suntan cream…"I didn't go to finishing school for bloody nothing!" she said.
very nice outdoorsy (especially for this rather indoorsy gal) day, Ruby is still recovering in the armchair. -
the handset on my landline telephone won't charge properly..seems any bump (aka Ruby) to the rickety table it sits on rocks it off the little charger knobbies…so, have had a number of international phone calls to friends back home interrupted by regular 'low battery' bleeps…made for some interesting converstions:
"I might get a job, this guy I met BLEEP BLEEP porn."
whaa?!? -
i am totally sick of pancakes.
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a little French girl shreeked and jumped away from Ruby (who was innocently occupied with wee-sniffing anyway) on our walk through the market area today..very unusual, i don't recall any other incident of dog-fear since we've been here…once, in Savannah, a grown 6ft man yelled at me from across the square, some 50 yards away, to "Keep that dog away from me!" um, ok. have you seen her? she's like a 17lb mouse with a waggy tail.
speaking of little french girls and Ruby…went round to R's for a doggie playdate and some dinner yesterday and her upstairs landlord's children were around, as usual…if i could put up with their pestering long enough, i'd learn a lot of french from them. i've certainly mastered "no!, don't do that!" "that's not nice!" "leave that alone!" "i told you already, don't!" "no, i don't want my hair done" "don't put your dirty feet on me!"
i love it when they tell Ruby to "Sid!"
