girl at large

I had another venogram and angioplasty today in the day hospital. It went well, no complications. I’m home resting. 

 

The subclavical vein on the right was very scarred and nearly closed again, but the balloons worked and opened it up enough. The left side vein is totally blocked, nothing can be done there. My body is make new collateral veins to compensate, but it’s still more blood to move than I have pathways to move it. Add the lymphedema, (though it’s much better too) and I’m an enormous puffer fish. With a defective fin.

 

My right arm is swells up and down unpredictably, I’m losing hand grip and my shoulder range of motion is limited. Though that might not last long with my new physical therapist!  I jokingly asked if she grew up on a farm and I was not disappointed. Girl is going to get my arm rotating as fast as she can shoe a horse or do any other farm thing requiring large hands and brute force. My lymphatic physical therapist, though a gentler touch, is another wonder worker, and of course, being Italian from Milwaukee, is probably Paulie’s cousin. Physical therapy three times a week, arm compression pump an hour every day, a range of humiliating exercises involving rubber straps, foam noodles and ice packs. I do all the things. And still, the swelling, the skin turning purple, the pain continues. So, that’s why I was a guest of Interventional Radiology again today. 

I was awake for the procedure this time, I’m not sure why they couldn’t do the full sedation like the last one back in July. It was uncomfortable to see the room, the lights, the machines, all the people. Feeling all the things being done—monitor stickers, oxygen nose thingies, IVs, shaving (!)…I try to imagine pit lane but it’s more like Thanksgiving when the disposal clogs. A lot of very busy people in a small room but really only one does the dirty work.

 

Wait, am I the pipes in this scenerio? ((Shakes head to clear mind)). 

The plan is to have this procedure every four months or so; my Doctor says I’ll need to “come in for regular tune ups”.  I wish I had better understood the complications and risks of radiation. I would have still done the treatment, but I would have preferred being more prepared, more aware of all the things that can happen, the other structures that can get damaged (thyroid, woody fibrosis, dry eye, lymphadema). Is the medical system ready for the number of longer term cancer survivors they’re creating? I don’t think so, not yet. 

Am I ready to see improvement in my wrestler-neck and big round moon face? Yes! Please let this work. It might be vain, but I don’t look like myself, I don’t recognize my face. AND NEITHER DOES MY PHONE!  🤦🏻‍♀️