girl at large

I like to write about life when you have a job, some kids, a fixer upper and a fatal disease.

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Category: Cancer

  • Mom Bod

                                  Thyroid: Let’s be really, really cold on a sunny day. Hysterectomy and estrogen suppressants: Oooh let’s do a random hot flash right now!  Liver disease: No mimosas for you! Lymphedema: If I swell just right she’ll never get out of…

  • Bitter Pills

      Hi there Wisconsin State Politician,     I'm writing in SUPPORT of the bill to regulate pharmacy benefit management companies and require them to pay independent pharmacies at the same rate as others, and to give patients the right to choose their pharmacy without penalty or significant cost difference.    I’m so glad I caught news…

  • Familiar, but Unrecognized

        Ativan + The Bear Hug ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ My new cancer center at Froedtert has me seeing every possible specialist they have, and they have them all! Next week is the liver clinic, but this week was all about veins. I had another venogram and angioplasty today in the day hospital. It went well, no…

  • Passive Tense

                    I’m listening to Heather Cox Richardson’s politics chat; she’s explaining that she doesn’t like to use the passive tense. The passive tense has no actor, the passive voice is vague, it’s not clear who is doing what. She takes this thought from school writing class to current…

  • Asking Myself

                  2025, What Do I Want From You? Revenge To be right Validation Information The truth. Clarity Unconfusion To be a little less alone. To be seen. To be undead. To be valued. To understand. To help. To be witness. To be witnessed. To grow. To have fun. To…

  • A Year in Review, More of the Same

              91 Doctors appointments 54 Physical Therapy appointments 36 Mental Therapy appointments 19 scans 16 weeks medical leave 11 days in the hospital 4 days in the ICU 2 infections 1 sepsis 0 concerned calls, texts or emails from my sister and brother.   The number of concerned calls, texts or…

  • Depleted But Not Defeated

              Back in November, I developed Superior Vena Cava Syndrome, (SVCS) caused by the chemo port that was implanted only a few weeks prior. SVCS is deep vein thrombosis of the superior cava vein, the big fat juicy vein that drains from your head, neck, arms and upper chest into your…

  • Cancer Is So Rude

      I was heading to my new breast cancer center, navigating a hospital building shaped like a traffic circle to my first chemo in my new location, my new doctor, my new care team. An unfamiliar space, a familiar procedure. The elevator popped me out at the second floor; I turned to study the direction…

  • Big T and little t

    Trauma. A popular word. A challenging word. Who does it belong to? Who qualifies? How do we value all the pain, without making the suffering all the same value? Does it have subcategories? Is it a spectrum? I’ve struggled with the Trauma term, I don’t use the word for myself. It’s everywhere, for every range,…

  • The Likes We Need

                      While preparing my paintings for the Shorewood Artists Guild show, I pulled everything out in front of me, all my curly papers gathered together for the first time. Little paintings, bigger paintings, big pieces that failed, sweet little unfinished pieces I had been disappointed with that…